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Good news/Bad News/Rant warning

November 27th, 2008 at 12:07 am

Let's start with the good news:

1.Max the dog is going to live.

2.The organization of bills/payment schedules for December is completed.

3.Tomorrow is eat large meals for free day. (And bring home leftovers)

4.I found my gift certificate for a free turkey.

Now the bad news.

1. New vet bill for Max is 35.00

2. December is going to be SUPER tight because of Christmas and I am STRESSING out!!

3. I have to bring a bottle of Kahlua to my Aunts tomorrow and I have no idea how much that will cost.

I could add more "bad" news but those are the 3 biggies for the day.

Did I mention I also am mad at my husband because I think he is acting like a spoiled baby??

Here is why: He has all these grand plans to buy C. and E. all these expensive gifts like a bunch of wii games, guitar hero, another DDR mat, Ipod, Nintendo DS. Now, when I total this up I come up with a very rough estimate of at least 500.00 (this is excluding the free Ipod using his AMEX points.)

I don't even think the girls want most of this stuff but DH thinks they do. C. wants mostly clothes and E. only truly wants ONE certain Wii game along with a few clothes. I think the girls are going along with their dad because it is their way of appeasing him.

I have no psychology degree but I think DH feels left out because the girls are older and he can't buy them toys etc... The things they want are things he knows only I can pick out for them. I feel kind of sad for him in a way because I know he wants to connect with the girls and this is the only way he knows how...buy them too much stuff.

So this is my dilemna. I am frustrated beyond belief right now and have no idea what to do to fix things. I am literally in tears.

He took C. to the movies and he was angry when he left because he wanted to go to Lowe's and Best Buy when C. and her friend were in the movies. But, he knows there is no money to do this. (I didn't bring it up, he just knows) But I pushed him over the edge because I yelled at him when he said he was going to take the truck that gets 12 mpg. (this trip will total 50 miles.)

So, now we are fighting, I feel bad we can't buy the girls all that DH wants. Oh, I just feel bad about everything! Debt sucks.

Why is Christmas shrouded in this ugly consumerism? It is like some gaudy nightmare!! It is like I am walking around hypnotized. I know in the logical part of my mind that if we don''t have the money than we just shouldn't buy it. And that Christmas is NOT about going into debt to buy too much stuff. But, the emotional part of my mind - my silly, misplaced, sentimental synapses are telling me that my daughters will wake up Christmas morning and be emotionally traumatized by not having a bunch of gifts to unwrap.

What do I do? I don't know. I just know I REFUSE to break out the credit cards. Isn't living in debt and stress just as traumatic to my girls as a few less presents at Christmas? I just want to stop crying over something so silly. There are people all over the world that would love to have a tiny fraction of what my family (and most americans) have. Yet, here I sit, heart pounding, stomach lurching. And for what? STUFF?

I think we need to have a family meeting tonight. We need to talk about materialism and how it can bankrupt both society and the soul.

6 Responses to “Good news/Bad News/Rant warning”

  1. lizajane Says:
    1227746388

    Oh, my, I'd give you a hug right now if I could! I'm sorry things are so stressful. I think that having the family meeting, aptly timed for Thanksgiving, is a good idea. Maybe starting off with the things you are thankful for, like you did here, is a good idea. I lost a friend this morning to cancer, and it really does snap everything into perspective when we stop and think about the important things in life.

    Let the logical part of your brain rule - refusing to go into debt for the holidays is smart. Giving in to the consumerism is not going to help in the long run. Maybe as a way for hubby to help connect with the girls is to ask them each to come up with a no/low-cost thing to do as a family, or as a daddy-daughter day. (Not sure if they are at the age where this is uncool). Or in the materialism discussion, stress that this holiday will be limited to one "big" item with $X limit, 2 or 3 smaller items, and the new tradition of a special day with dad/family, naturally limited to a dollar amount within your budget. If there really isn't anything in your budget, maybe it can just be making cookies, taking candid pictures of people exhibiting the "holiday spirit", going for a hike in the woods or park, volunteering together somewhere, etc, etc.

    Good luck, and I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving with lots of free food. I don't think Kahlua is all that cheap, but a little goes a long way, so get a small bottle!

  2. creditcardfree Says:
    1227750745

    Have the meeting...and explain no new debt. Explain the limits and have everyone brainstorm how to stay within the limits for the holidays. Work together!! Good luck.

  3. Ms. Pearl Says:
    1227753457

    Thanks all! I appreciate your support SO much. We will get through this. In fact if cutting back on Christmas this year is the worst thing that could ever happen to me then I will consider my life to have been truly blessed.

  4. Koppur Says:
    1227761718

    When my sis and I got older, my Dad felt that way. He made up for it by picking up something special for each of us that was kind of just from him, and everything else was from him and Mums. Mums would always tell us, "Oh, you're father picked that out all on his own" or "That was Dad's idea". It was his way of treating us special.

  5. whitestripe Says:
    1227762492

    awww *hugs* you are a very strong person to stand up for what you want, especially when you can see where your hubby is coming from. it is hard because i know you probably want to spoil the girls too. sorry i have no real advice for you but just wanted to let you know you have me on your side: i think christmas is horrid with all the gift buying, gift wrap, tinsel, etc, costs so much money and so much stress for ONE day of the year. You have made me even more determined to have lowkey christmases when BF and I have kids. I love that it's about family, but sometimes all that can get pushed aside, which is sad.
    best wishes!

  6. fern Says:
    1227795586

    I'm sorry to hear you sounding so stressed out. Lizjane and the others had some good ideas. I think you and your husband need to get on the same page and talk about this stuff, and a family meeting where you involve your girls in coming up with low or no-cost ways to celebrate Xmas sounds like a really good idea.

    Follow your gut instincts. They're right on track. Hang in there, sweetie.

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