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Sad and Happy

June 22nd, 2009 at 11:33 pm

I am experiencing lots of mood swings this summer. One minute I am basking in the relaxing hum of summer and the next I am ready to cry.

Is it my hormones?

My girls are growing up but I think it is more than that. On July 2nd they get their genetic tests drawn and a few months from then we will find out if they have what their dad does. MEN type 1.

Now, there are far worse genetic diseases to have but this is no piece of cake. My husband has half a pancreas, no parathyroid glands, 1/4 of a thryoid gland and he is 32 years old!

I am mostly worried about C. because she is the one with lupus...what will her body do if it has to deal with MEN too?

I know this is not money related but these worries have consumed me lately.

It's funny though. When my girls were younger (and me too) I never would have thought I would have any kind of strength to deal with minor tragedies. But when you are living with these chronic illnesses in your family you get used to it. But sometimes something inside me cracks open and I just lose it. Is that normal?

I was thinking the other day that as a mother I am becoming my daughters past. They are moving forward so quickly and I am watching them leave and it is the most painful thing ever. Loving your children hurts. It is the best thing in my life but at times the most angst filled.

Well, those are my ramblings for the day.

2 Responses to “Sad and Happy”

  1. momcents Says:

    Hugs through cyber-space to you. Sounds like a lot is going on right now. I will say a prayer for your daughters' test results. I think it hits us all at some point that our kids are growing up and our identity as primary caregiver isn't as critical as when they're newborns. I hope this passes quickly for you and you enjoy your days this summer before they go back to school.

  2. ceejay74 Says:

    Maybe hormones, but you've certainly got enough on your mind to justify a few mood swings! I hope the test results go your way, and either way it sounds like you will find the strength inside you to take care of your family no matter what.

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