Because I am so tired. Down to the last 5 hours of this crazy weekend. My goal is to stay awake until 11am (and while driving home) and hopefully crawl into bed around 11:20.

I failed to fill my Restoril prescription on Friday so I had my husband do it Sat. Well, turns out my Dr. had prescribed the brand name in a strange dose and our pharmacy, Walmart and CVS did not carry it. They wouldn't substitute the generic (Temazepam) because it wasn't prescribed that way. I paged my doc but couldn't get a hold of him.

I was at work when I found out and started to freak out. I had to go home at 3pm and somehow fall asleep in order to be back at work at 11p and work for 12 hours!

As it turns out, fate/luck whatever you want to call it was on my side. I just happened to be doing rounds with our in house psychiatrist whom I know well. He heard my dilemma and told me he would prescribe them for me! So I dialed the pharmacy number and he called in Temazapam 15 mg. 30 pills with instructions to take one at hour of sleep as needed. Relief!

And they worked beautifully. I do not care if I had to rely on a benzo for sleep because it is the only way I think I could have made it through this weekend.

Maybe my life is out of balance.

That is the deadly side of debt isn't it? And that is why I need to free myself from its clutches.

I think I have escaped the dusty plateau of my stagnant weight story...I am now down to 133.4 on the demon work scale and 131 on the home scale.

Woke up at 4:30 am and got in 45 minutes of exercise. Weight is now 133 according to my home scale and 136.2 according to work scale...the discrepency? Who knows but from henceforth the work scale will be known as "The Demon Scale." But hey, still a minor drop so I will take it.

Went on a 12 mile bike trip last night with C. and M. Was great. Then we came home and ran/walked one mile and then I did 45 minute tape. I know it sounds OCD but that is it for the weekend as far as exercise goes because of my work schedule.

I plan on taking my first dose of Restoril around 2pm this afternoon so I can go home and hopefully fall asleep for 7 hours then get back at 10p and drag myself into work for another 12 hours.

I WILL get through this and the extra 4 hours will be put toward my new tire fund. Husband had to get up and fill my tire with air this morning just so I could get to work. We are all tired of this!

Our plan to pay off the three credit cards remains in place and I can't wait to see those demon balances go away. Almost like a screw you to the credit card companies...even though it is our own fault we got into this mess. But the 25% we are paying on the chase card feels like robbery.

Our garage sale netted us a profit of 46.45. This was after the money we put into the ingredients for the cookies and the cardboard signs. Of course, it is all gone. Used 30.00 to buy two solid oak nightstands for our bedroom...and they look so pretty! Eventually I want to sand them and paint them white but I have enough house projects to keep me busy for awhile!

I will try to post some pics of our house soon.

I cleaned the living room yesterday and rearranged the furniture. Love it. Should have done it months ago. Surprisingly, M. likes it too.

E. remains in Port Clinton up by Lake Erie. She calls or we call twice a day. So far so good. Luckily my busy schedule keeps me from worrying too much about her.

Well, I better get to work! Have a good Saturday everyone!

I am experiencing lots of mood swings this summer. One minute I am basking in the relaxing hum of summer and the next I am ready to cry.

Is it my hormones?

My girls are growing up but I think it is more than that. On July 2nd they get their genetic tests drawn and a few months from then we will find out if they have what their dad does. MEN type 1.

Now, there are far worse genetic diseases to have but this is no piece of cake. My husband has half a pancreas, no parathyroid glands, 1/4 of a thryoid gland and he is 32 years old!

I am mostly worried about C. because she is the one with lupus...what will her body do if it has to deal with MEN too?

I know this is not money related but these worries have consumed me lately.

It's funny though. When my girls were younger (and me too) I never would have thought I would have any kind of strength to deal with minor tragedies. But when you are living with these chronic illnesses in your family you get used to it. But sometimes something inside me cracks open and I just lose it. Is that normal?

I was thinking the other day that as a mother I am becoming my daughters past. They are moving forward so quickly and I am watching them leave and it is the most painful thing ever. Loving your children hurts. It is the best thing in my life but at times the most angst filled.

Well, those are my ramblings for the day.

Is paid for and renewed for the next two years! All CEUs complete. One less thing to worry about. (my nursing license)

Spent 13.21 at Walmart today for junk food.

My brand new Trek Bike (hybrid ladies 7000) has been ordered using 98,000 Mariott reward points. Can't wait to get it!

We had steak for supper...it was delicious but I feel like a fatty. I will have serious damage control to do this week. ugh, I hate overeating on the weekends, I gotta get control over that.

We went over the budget tonight and we will have to increase our auto insurance in October when C. gets her permit. I have no idea how much it will be. Does anybody? She has a 4.0 GPA so that gets us a discount right? I hope so.

We have been thinking about giving her my Toyota next April for her car and then me getting a new car. But she has to get a part time job to help with insurance and gas.

Happy Father's Day!

I got paid yesterday. Made $300 more than usual thanks to the extra hours I picked up. $109 of that will go to renewing my nursing license and the Continuing Education units I had to pay for.

I am on vacation in precisely 35 minutes! I will be off the next 7 days. Have no big plans. Wednesday is the garage sale and I STILL have a lot of work to do to be ready for it.

I am a little upset with my husband because all of a sudden he seems to want to spend money. Wants to buy C. a trampoline for 350.00 and I think that is foolish...we need to put that money on credit cards.

Also, he doesn't seem to think some new furniture and getting the cats declawed is a priority...at all! I am going to have a talk with him because I had to cancel a friend's baby shower at my house and move it to another location because I was too embarrassed of my living room.

Now, I am not being superficial, well maybe a little, but our couches are a hundred years old, torn to shred by the cats and are all stained up. They are out of style and just nasty. My oldest daughter doesn't even want to invite her friends over!

Now, the outside of our house is very pretty, most people driving by would probably never assume our living room resembles a bachelor pad. But it does and I am sick of it and the idea of spending money on a trampoline just gets me a little agitated.

So, I plan on going home soon and calmly discussing this with my husband. Wish me luck.

p.s. I am down to 135 lbs! yay!

Not spending much this week. Gave C. 30.00 today as she went shopping with a friend but she only spent 7.00 on food so that's good.

Spent 30.10 on gas and another 5.00 on gum and water...silly but I needed some gum. Husband has not spent any money this week!

All bills are up to date and paid. H. wants to get our bikes this weekend but I am still so hesitant to spend that money even though it is an investment we will so enjoy. hmm...

I lost 1.5 lbs the first 15 days of June. I am happy but I was hoping it would have been a pound more. But hey, I'll take that.

I exercised 2 hours today. One hour by myself at home and one hour with my friend walking and kickboxing/lunges/running up and down bleachers. Feeling pretty good. Still would like to get to 130 by July 18th but I think that is unrealistic unless I starve myself...and I don't have 2 hours everyday to work out.

There is no change in the money situation right now. My husband and I were talking last night and have decided we would like to get some new furniture around December...our "Christmas present." 2 couches, curtains for living room, and coffee table. That leaves us needing 2 chairs but that will have to wait until we have cash. I think the furniture will be around 1300.00? Not sure.

We have managed to save almost 3,000.00 in our savings account! This is huge for us. But we have to start buckling down and pay off the d@@n credit cards so this won't last.

Well all, have a good night!

We did our weekly grocery/household shopping. Spent total of 169.00. So that means we stayed within our budget...we budget 150-175 every week. We used to budget a lot less but lets face it, it wasn't realistic even with using coupons. We already shop at Walmart for certain things but we go to our local grocer for all produce and meats because the quality is so much better and a lot are locally grown in summer.

What does everybody else spend a week on groceries and household necessities? We are a family of four with two teenagers who consume a lot of food!

This was an expensive weekend overall though. We spent another 50.00 on mulch but guess what? WE ARE DONE! The beds are clean and look beautiful. We have one large area to plant and it's a blank slate so right now I am brainstorming. I will try to post some pics of our yard and gardens.

We spent another 25.00 on weed barrier and on Friday we spent 45.00 on oil for the cars and a small amount of junk food for C. and her friend that spent the night.

phew...a lot of money! No surprises though...other than the junk food which was 11.00!

I am just so excited that we have a nice lawn and pretty gardens. Since moving into our house 5 years ago it has never looked this nice and most of what it took wasn't a major investment in money but in energy and time. But so well worth it.

Our project next weekend is the master bedroom, master bath and master closet. We are doing a complete deep cleaning, walls and carpet and ceiling. We are getting 2 new pillows and a sheet set...I see they are on sale at Kohls right now!

This project should consume all of Saturday and Sunday especially if we decide to paint which I am hoping the husband says yes to. (I think I can talk him into it!!)

Our big garage sales are June 24th and with each load of laundry I wash I am getting rid of a lot of clothes to sell. Mostly of the girls and all my old nursing scrubs that I shrunk out of.

We have some busy weeks ahead of us but I can't wait to have a completely organized house. It's a funny thing how it started with organizing our finances ya know? Once you budget and plan you can actually get things done! Love it!

OH! Forget, received 75.00 in mail from medical bills we overpaid last month. We used it this weekend to pay for the mulch!

Still holding at 138. Depressing!

I have been ravenous lately. I also have been running at least 20 miles a week. So why am I not losing weight? My hypothesis is that I am burning a lot of calories and then eating a lot because I am so hungry. (Overeating is more like it.)

I am at work right now and will leave at 3p. But I did a 20 minute boot camp workout this morning before work and ate a light and fit yogurt with water for breakfast so I am feeling good about things.

I just really wanted to weigh 130 by July 18th but I might have to reassess that goal. At this point I will settle for 135 which if I buckle down should be reachable!

Well, I dealt with a very rude man a week ago and thought I would share my experiences. We had a hospital bill from an ER visit for my daughter several months ago...she hurt her hand in gymnastics. Anyway, we are blessed with wonderful health insurance (knock on wood!) and our ER bills are always covered 100% or very close to.

So, I thought nothing of the bill I received a few weeks after C. went to the ER. I just figured the insurance had not paid yet and well you know...that certainly it would soon.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago. I have no idea how this happened but anyway, we received a call from a collection agency and they told us a hospital bill for $548 had been handed to them by our hospital for this ER visit. My husband said that couldn't be right and that we would talk with the insurance and our hospital.

I ended up calling the insurance company to see what the matter was, they said they couldn't process the claim because they needed more information, I said "what?" They said, it was coded wrong at the hospital...they had coded it as a "car accident." Well, it certainly was not a car accident and I called the hospital and they submitted the correct bill and I thought that was that.

Apparantly not.

About 2 weeks ago the bill collector man called again. He told my husband they still had not received any money. My husband was working and told him that we would call our insurance and figure it out. He forgot and I did too.

2 days later, the bill collector called again and I spoke with him. This is when it got ugly. I told him that we had not called the insurance yet but that I would take care of it right away. I swear he snorted and arrogantly stated, "It shouldn't take you a week to call your insurance company!" I replied, "Well I'm sorry but I have a busy life and I forgot..." Something like that.

So then he asks when they are going to receive a payment and I said well obviously they were not going to receive one from us because the hospital had recently resubmitted our bill to the insurance because it was originally coded wrong.

Then it got truly hideous. Again, that snort and he says, "Yeah, right, we hear that excuse all the time." I started to shake. I raised my voice and said, "Well, I am telling you the truth...it's not an excuse." Then he says, "We know where your husband works and it looks like this is heading toward garnishment." I reply, "I am calling the ins. and the hospital right now!" And then I hung up.

So, I call the hospital and luckily, a friend of mine that works in the billing dept. answers. It took at least 10 minutes until we figured it out but guess what? The hospital had already received payment IN FULL ($548) from our insurance company a couple of days prior AND the best part was that they had notified the collection agency that payment had been received. I was ecstatic...how many times in life do you get to says "take that a$$hole!" to mean people?

Not often enough.

So, my friend faxed the information again to the collection agency. I hung up the phone and dialed the bill collector. I was ridiculously sweet and told him that the hospital had already received their payment and that perhaps he should learn how to handle his job appropriately AND that it was extremly unprofessional to threaten someone with garnishment when a bill was already paid! He didn't say much, not even sorry so I said I wanted to speak with his supervisor.

He snorted/laughed again. "Well, I am the supervisor here so that's not gonna happen." I could feel myself losing my temper and my husband was in the kitchen with me so I handed the phone to him and whispered, "Don't get us in legal trouble but let him know he is an a$$hole."

My husband did just that in a calm, professional manner...he is so good at that!!

I was so worked up my entire body was shaking when the exeperience was finally over.

So, that is my story of the arrogant bill collector. It felt so good to say..."I told you so!"

I had a productive weekend! Kind of expensive but stayed within budget.

Mulch: 50.00 (still need to spend another 50.00 this coming weekend to finish)

Flowers/perennials: 88.00

Walmart (weed barrier, misc. landscaping tools) 29.00

Lowes (pots, something I can't remember) 18.00


Kohls: (2 summer dresses, Vera Wang shorts, Vera Wang top, 2 pair wedge sandals, 3 tops, 2 Elle Camisoles) 202.00!!

Original total at Kohls was 373.00 but I saved 171.00 because of their buy one get one free deals. YAY!

Total: 387.00

I still need the following items...soon

1. 2 scoops of mulch
2. Bathing suit
3. 2 pair flip flops
4. water shoes for vacation
5. 2 pair jean shorts
6. one sleeveless tee
7. Gray capris
8. jean capris

This is going to be appx. another 300.00.

We have postponed our vacation until August so that gives us more time to put money away...it is going to cost around 600.00

I have an extra 24 hours on my next check so that will be about an extra 480.00 after taxes, plus extra for overtime but I am too lazy to figure that out right now.

Finally my weekend has arrived...well in 30 minutes! Made my to do list for the next three days and let me say I am gonna be quite the busy bee. Flowers, mulch, shopping, cleaning.

Oh, but it will feel so good when it is all done!

Strange thing today, my husband told me that he thought it would be fine to do the mulch/flowers and the clothes shopping both this weekend with a total budget of $500.00. Hmmm...something is up. I don't really feel comfortable spending that much money. In fact, I don't want to spend any money on clothes because I still have almost 20 lbs to lose!

Oh, yeah, forgot I gotta get my workouts in this weekend too. It will all come together I think, it usually does.

Ate oatmeal raisin cookie and a cheeseburger today so my total caloric intake is around 1800. ouch, too much. But I have been running my butt off the last 7 hours at work so probably burned that cookie and part of the cheeseburger off!

...life has become this week! Working a lot of extra hours. I'm in the middle of my next to last shift. I will get off at 7am Friday then come back to work at 3pm Friday. Not much sleep but I have the the next three days off. Thank goodness.

Got paid today, 1113.67. Yikes almost $200.00 short because I missed a a shift due to daughter being sick. But in two weeks I should have an awesome paycheck.

The last day of school was Tuesday. YAY! I love the relaxed pace of summer...I get a lot of sleep! Well, maybe not this week but at least I don't have to worry about running the kids back and forth to school.

We have a lot of plans this weekend and I am scared of overspending because our budget is very tight in June. We need to mulch our flower beds and I want to get three hanging baskets and some annuals to plant in the beds.

I would also like to run to the mall this weekend and use my Victoria's secret $10 card and Express $20 card. They are burning a hole in my pocket.

Today I managed to get 4 loads of laundry done AND put away. I also cleaned out my dresser and have a large pile of clothes I am going to sell at my grandmother's neighborhood garage sales the last Wednesday in June. I have been going through the girls clothes too and they have lots to sell. Most of it is Abercrombie and Hollister...stores like that so we should make some money.

We had to postpone our Cedar Point trip until July because we forgot about the garage sales...family tradition!

Some bad news, got on the scale today and it was up 2 lbs. I have no idea why because I have been exercising my a$$ off and eating no more than 1400 calories a day. Maybe I need to chill a little, my body might be revolting.

But anyway, to weigh 140 lbs SUCKS. It was so nice to be in the 130's. I am hoping today was a fluke and I can drop those lbs. quickly! My husband tried to placate me by saying I look thinner and I must be building muscle...maybe.

I saw an old childhood friend at the gym today, she joined last week. She had always been heavy but she is morbidly obese at this point. I am just so happy she is starting to exercise though.

Have some frustrating patients right now and being so tired isn't helping my mood!

I have quite a busy schedule this week. Working a lot of extra hours. I sat down today and made a list of all the NEEDS and WANTS in my life that next few months.

If I say it is detailed...well that is an understatement. I listed every item of clothing my family and I NEED and also a few wants. I included landscaping costs, clothes, new furniture, curtains, blinds, pillows and sheets. Those are the biggies. OH! And getting 3 cats declawed so they don't ruin new furniture!

Now, of course many of these are WANTS but there are some needs...specifically the clothing. Especially mine. Since I have nothing other than workout clothes from Walmart and a few new scrub outfits I bought recently for work. OH! And $10 flip flops from Walmart, actually cute.

Now, some may call the furniture a definite want but if they walked into my living room they may change their minds. However, that is definitely last on my list and contingent upon my husbands possible bonus. And trust me, the couch and chair I want are from IKEA so not exactly splurging here!

Didn't workout today but I put in over 3 hours yesterday to make up for not being able to exercise again until Friday. The scales are still hanging on at 138. Despite the fact I probably burned at least 1400 calories from exercising the past 48 hours. Well, I better not get too OCD about it.

I plan on listing my NEEDS/WANTS list later...would love to hear everybody's opinion on if they think I'm right and what their own wants/needs are!