I found out yesterday my paternal grandmother died. On my father's birthday...which was December 31st. The way I found out was through reading our local paper...well, actually my grandma read the paper and called me.
Now, I am not a cold hearted person at all but I am finding it hard to feel like someone should feel when their grandmother dies. I hardly knew her. Not that I didn't want to, but I never got the chance. My father has lived in Arizona most of my life and the grandma has mostly lived in Arizona, Florida and now Ohio the last several years.
My father has not been a stellar person. I saw him erratically growing up and he would always promise me all these fantastic things then not come through. But I am ok with that I think. He would always send the obligatory Christmas and Birthday presents and occasionally fly me out to visit but that was the extent of our relationship. He left when I was six and I saw him again at ages: 7, 12, 17, 19, 20, 22, 28, 32. That's it.
One time he moved to Texas for a couple years and he didn't tell me and his number was out of service so for months I didn't know if he was dead or alive!
But enough of that.
I am upset that he didn't call me right away. Even the next day would have been fine but 5 days? Plus, she was in a nursing home less than an hour away and I could have taken the girls to see her because they had only met her once. But of course I am not privy to any of that information.
The other part that gets me is that in the obituary it has listed that she had 11 grandchildren...she had twelve because I have a half sister who was completely ignored worse than me. But who knows, I may be that forgotten granddaughter.
Oh, and another line stated, "She loved spending time with her grandchildren." Really? That is news to me!
Ok, I should stop now. Sorry, I just feel angry and hurt.
But my dad ended up calling late last night. I didn't tell him I knew until after he told me. He didn't find that surprising. M. thinks someone called him and reminded him it might be a good idea to let his daughter know but I don't think so. No one has his number except my grandma and I know she didn't do that.
I am hurt because my dad didn't think to let me know she was that ill and then when she died waited a week to tell me. Having to find out your grandma died through the local paper is kind of surreal.
The same thing happened when my grandpa died and I ended up not attending the funeral because M. was out of town and I felt too scared to go by myself.
But this time we are going to the calling hours and the funeral. They are on Thursday and Friday and are an hour away so we are going to be there!
____________________________________
Ok, now I need to abruptly change the subject in case anyone is still reading this lengthy dissertation. Again, I hope I don't sound cold but it is hard to be in mourning for someone you hardly know.
Someone told me that since DH doesn't have an office he works at and his office is at our house in a spare bedroom that would could somehow deduct that from our taxes. Is this true?
There literally is no office for him to work at. He travels to job sites but the only office is in Israel. So can we deduct that space somehow that is 100% dedicated to his job? Also, what about his car? He gets reimbursed mileage but he drives it all over the country when he doesn't fly.
If someone more intelligent than me could answer that would be greatly appreciated.
Questions and sad news
January 5th, 2009 at 01:03 pm
January 5th, 2009 at 01:39 pm 1231162794
As for the home office, yes you can take the deduction BUT when you sell your house, you have to give some of that money back come tax time. So, it's not as great a deduction as it sounds.
January 5th, 2009 at 02:03 pm 1231164219
I have to admit reading this particular one is kind of awkward. Not sure how to respond to this.
January 5th, 2009 at 02:14 pm 1231164873
January 5th, 2009 at 02:47 pm 1231166828
January 5th, 2009 at 03:06 pm 1231167987
January 5th, 2009 at 03:17 pm 1231168634
I guess what I mean to say is that I'm sorry you've lost family and that they've let you down or are so distant. And yet, I am also glad that they don't negatively impact you. Odd considering that family is suppose to support you, not let you down. So, hence not being sure how quite to respond.
January 5th, 2009 at 03:22 pm 1231168971
I was sent the news clipping out of the newspaper with the quilts about 3-4 months after the funeral. At the time she died I was not really sad either; I was feeling more angry than anything because I felt I was robbed of the time getting to know my gma by my mother.
January 5th, 2009 at 03:30 pm 1231169430
Can you do a google search for 'home office exemptions' or just look on the IRS website for home office information. I'd think the mileage on his work truck would certainly be something you could deduct.
January 5th, 2009 at 04:01 pm 1231171319
Just wanted to say I don't think you are terrible at all.
Yeah there is a home office deduction and no it isn't that great. It depends on the circumstances.
January 5th, 2009 at 04:12 pm 1231171933
January 5th, 2009 at 04:15 pm 1231172116
January 5th, 2009 at 04:28 pm 1231172887
January 5th, 2009 at 05:57 pm 1231178258
January 5th, 2009 at 08:04 pm 1231185857
I deducted 1 room or 14%, which I then took 14% of all utilities, home upkeep, etc plus any new furniture or computer stuff at 100%. I have never been audited.
January 5th, 2009 at 11:23 pm 1231197839